Past, Present, Future
Sometimes, people’s pride in their place relates to its past and personal memories. There is a conversation to have about beginnings and how good life used to be. This can lead into a discussion about today’s problems, how things have changed for the worse, fears for the future and who to blame.
A different conversation can happen: that wonders about how we connect our past to our present; and about pride as a resource that shapes the future of our place. (* all names have been changed).
Jack*, born in 1940, was in a conversation we held near Rotherham:
I remember when we got electricity for the first time, in 1954. My father got an electric radio. We couldn’t touch it ‘cos he had it up so high, we couldn’t reach!
In the past, in his village, he says:
Everybody was open and friendly. On Sunday, you’d go to mass, then pub and then the dance hall. You couldn’t go wrong! You just couldn’t be without friends.
Change
Jack and others wondered if the friendliness had “slipped”.
The conversations we held in this village happened because some experienced or anticipated tension in the area; new people had arrived from Africa and Eastern Europe.
Closer reflection and exploration revealed that such change was not a new thing, and that the way the community tolerated change promised hope for the future.
Lasting Pride
This group began to explore the legacy of a complicated and hard-won friendliness in this place. Jack and others had come to England, to this village, from Ireland. Some remembered being ‘new’, facing prejudice. They had found it “difficult to integrate” but were now very much at home.
During World War II, a Prisoner of War Camp was established in this village; while its men were away fighting, people nonetheless welcomed ‘enemy’ soldiers to join them for Mass and local events, “no problem”: the Germans sung “beautiful”.
We reflected on the work that had gone in, over the years, to welcoming. It was something to be proud of. The tolerance people appreciated in the past was still dominant and was something villagers, personally, understood the need for and had embodied.
What We Learned
We heard this story after being invited into a Rotherham community by a local church leader. He thought his community was struggling to welcome new arrivals – people who looked a bit different.
What emerged were memories and inherited memories, going back as far as 1904, of the village being built and parish established. With space and time to talk, people listened and reflected on the real character of this place where they were living with others – in all its nuance and complexity.
“Welcoming” was a word that emerged; it characterised this place. What we learned there has led us to offer conversations that matter based on three basic principles – things we think lay a good foundation that can make space for positive change:
What We Learned
We heard this story after being invited into a Rotherham community by a local church leader. He thought his community was struggling to welcome new arrivals - people who looked a bit different.
What emerged were memories and inherited memories, going back as far as 1904, of the village being built and parish established. With space and time to talk, people listened and reflected on the real character of this place where they were living with others - in all its nuance and complexity.
“Welcoming” was a word that emerged; it characterised this place.
What we learned there has led us to offer conversations that matter based on three basic principles - things we think lay a good foundation that can facilitate change or make space for something good:
- Better Out Than In ~ people can speak openly and listen to others do the same
- Most People are Alright ~ our basic assumption as we hold a space
- Curiosity is the Change we Look for ~ it can emerge, where there is commitment to 1 and 2
Three Principles of a Conversation That Matters
In our conversations, we make sure that people can speak openly and listen to others do the same.
This is our basic assumption as we hold a space. We state it at the start and bear it in mind during a conversation.
We want conversation participants and our team members to begin to wonder about what they are hearing. Curiosity can emerge where there is commitment to 1 and 2. It is the positive change we look for.